
The idea of writing this journal came to me when I
had already started my sabbatical. Six months is a long time to take unpaid
time off work and have nothing concrete to remember this period. I don’t know
if anyone would be interested in reading
my exploits, yet I felt putting things down in writing could become a legacy to
my descendants on what grandma, great grandma, great-great grandma (till you
lose count of the ancestry) did during this period of her life.
I had been unsettled for a while now in my current
work and in particular the organization I work for. It has seemed to be a cycle
of constant fire-fighting in the past nine years, with no time or breathing
space simply to stop and put things right. I was at a point where I started
feeling burnout, stressed out, intellectually not proactive and above all deeply
disturbed by the values I saw being demonstrated by staff in my office. It was
as if the only thing most staff members thought about was ‘me’, ‘me’, and ‘me’,
not about how we could contribute positively to the life of poor people, the
reason we were working for the organization.
I felt it was mostly about how we could get the maximum
inflationary increase at a time when programs were being constrained financially:
“How can I maximize me and myself?” The more I got to know God and develop a
closer relationship with Him, the more I felt: “I am more than all of this. I
have a purpose. I was born to make a positive impact on the lives of people. I
am living to be the light of the world and the salt of the earth. I have gifts
and talent that should be used, not compressed. I need time out to focus on my
vision and to step out to live the life God has ordained for me before the
foundation of the earth.”
I decided to take a leap of faith and take time
out. God had enabled me to save a little. Despite the niggling fear of insecurity;
I decided to use this, since it was only money. You have to spend money to make
money. I decided to use the time to spend with my family, do some writing,
build the Institute and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The journey started in 2008. I had to strategize
to reduce my expenses. This included selling my house, living in rented
accommodation within the allowance I got from my office. I changed my two
youngest daughters’ school to an outstanding public school, which cost a third
of the private school they were attending, and started putting household expenses
on a budget. I was able to make all these changes with the help of God. Without
Him none of these would have been possible. My intention is to articulate my
key insights, my growth spiritually, new learning, new opportunities and
anything that had an impact and influenced me during this period.
I do hope that this book will help people who are
feeling trapped, unfulfilled, unsatisfied with their current state of life, that they will be encouraged as well to
make the bold choice to step out and do something different. Something that
will make them come alive, discover who they are, and make the courageous
decision to live a life of purpose. I don’t know what I will decide at the end
of the six months, but I know who has my tomorrow in His hands and I know my
tomorrow can only be great.
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